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April 1, 2001

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Q/A Topics & Misc Thoughts on "Life is in the Blood"
Why Mary needed to be a virgin

I just read both your attachments!! Wow!! While reading it-it hit me why Mary had to be a virgin. I just always thought that was to show he was God etc. But now we know different.

If Mary had 'known' a man prior to Jesus' birth, she would have been possessed of man's [nephesh]. While Eve was the first to follow satan, the guilt of sin rests upon Adam, since Eve was "from man" (1Cor11:8b). Adam was 'in charge'. Eve was a "helper suitable to" Adam. (Gen2:20) When God came to the garden He came calling out Adam's name, not Eve's. (Gen3:9) It is said, "by man came death" and it names the man "for as in -Adam- all die". (1Cor15:21-22) Thus, any woman tainted with a man's [nephesh] would have his sin/death. When Jesus came, He brought "the resurrection of the dead" as "in Christ all shall be made -alive-".

However, let us not be confused by catholicism's false doctrine of Mary's "immaculate conception". That doctrine states that Mary, herself, was born "without sin"; the quality possessed only by Jesus. (2Cor5:21, 1Pt2:22, 1Jn3:5) Scripture does not suggest to us that Mary was any 'more holy' than any other female of her day. In fact, Paul teaches us that in God's sight, women are no different from men where our spiritual state with God is concerned, and regarding the doctrines of salvation. Anyone who comes "through faith in Christ Jesus" is a "son [child] of God". (Gal3:26) And Christ's 'baptism' shows no ethnic, cultural, caste or gender distinctions: "..there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus" (Gal3:27-28)

So, obviously, there is a 'mystery' we do not yet know. The difference between man-KIND's generic sinful state through Adam, vs the 'virgin purity' of the absence of the "two-become-one" man's [nephesh] in the woman. There is a very special thing that happens between the man and woman, something "too wonderful for me...which I do not understand... the way of a man with a virgin". (Pr30:18-19)

So... by birth, Mary was a sinner just as anybody else. But being a virgin, she possessed an undefiled womb for Jesus to be born in. He was born "as of a lamb without blemish and without spot". (1Pt1:19) In their precursory Passover sacrifice God instructed, "Your lamb shall be without blemish, a male..." (Ex12:5) And when Jesus arrives on the scene, "The next day John saw Jesus coming toward him, and said, "Behold! The Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world!" (Jn1:29) And the Father could say, "You are My beloved Son; in You I am well pleased." (Lk3:22b)


Dating vs Arranged Marriages

Lately I've been realizing more and more how much the children of the devil we all were and of course most still are. I've been in the OT and just really trying to grasp why God calls so many a pile of dung.

You know...this blood/nephesh topic has got my mind/heart all turned around with a totally new perspective on so many things. Yes..."pile of dung" is exactly correct.

For all of their faults and incorrect beliefs about "God", the middle-easterners actually have a better system in some respects regarding marriage and dating. And I was thinking how it used to be that parents would "arrange" marriages for their children. Our western mentality says, How do the couple getting married know they even 'like' each other? Well...when one considers the [nephesh]...that doesn't really matter. The wife will 'become' suited to her husband... they won't necessarily "fall in love" (Hollywood style), but their love and "knowing" of each other will be deeper than anything Hollywood can fake.


Sex Education (men)

Thank you for the April article on the Blood. My spirit bears witness with you that this is true. It also brings to mind a speaker that I heard at a conference when I was in College. He was speaking to a guys only group talking about sex. The thing that he said that I have always remembered was this... 'the reason that God says no sex before marriage is more than about preventing disease. He said that when you are intimate with a woman, you actually give her some of yourself, your strength, your life'....I did not fully understand that statement until now.


Sex Education (ladies)

By the same token, young ladies... remember it takes "two to tango". A lot of blame is placed on the boys who "...will be boys". But who is alluring them and wanting it just as badly? Young lady, if you are promiscuous (those boys were drawn to you because you made yourself attractive/alluring to them), and then eventually settle down in marriage... when you are with your husband and he is not fulfilling you, don't necessarily whine and cry to him, "You don't really love me... Boo Hoo!!" Maybe the problem isn't with him... perhaps it is because you were fooling around before you settled down with the one you call your "husband"? You are not capable of receiving from him, fully, because you already received from others! As much as you yearn for it now, and the world says it's the expected thing to do... WAIT!! Save yourself for the one from whom you want to receive permanently. If you have your momentary pleasures now, when you eventually settle down, not only will you be unfulfilled... your husband will also be unfulfilled -because- he knows you are unfulfilled, and it will frustrate your marriage. He wants to give to you, but if you are not capable of receiving, he can come to his wit's ends trying to figure out what's "wrong" with him... because you are crying. But it's your own fault...you are reaping what you sowed. And believe me, it is devastating to the one you say you love. And you will have no 'right' to sit around with the feminists who love to talk about "the MAaaan" (said in mocking, derisive, insolent tone) who "doesn't know how to pleasure a woman". You can either have a wanton life of promiscuity, -OR- a fulfilled marriage. But you can't have it both ways. If you opt for licensciousness, don't blame your husband when things turned out sour.

Yes, this is strong. No, it is not chauvinism. It is Biblical. In the O.T. promiscuity was rewarded with stoning to death! These are mere 'words' of Truth. So be it! Amen!

[Editor: If your conscience has been smitten because of what your life has been, please keep reading. The "Righting the Wrongs" at the end will talk about... 'So, I messed up... now what?']



This brings up a question about blood transfusions. Wouldn't it be wrong to be transfused with someone elses blood, other than your own or your wifes? If it is, would you let a child die before giving him a blood transfusion?

Having just read the first of your articles on Life is in the Blood, I must ask a question which I'm sure many others will probably ask. I have been a regular blood donor for around 27 years, and through the plasmathesis (?) system here in the UK (giving concentrated plasma on a fortnightly basis) have made nearly 700 donations ! As yet, I have never been on the receiving end. I'm sure that more will be made clear over the next few days, but should I therefore be considering stopping these donations?

I must admit to an aversion to allowing organ transplants on my death, despite being happy to donate plasma for so long. Perhaps I am now beginning to understand a little more as to why I feel this way ?

So would you ever donate blood or take a transfusion knowing what you know now?

I 'might' donate, if a very specific situation needed it (like wife or family member)...but unless I knew the source, I expect, now, I would not receive any generic blood from a "bank". For me, I expect if I were in such a predicament and the choice were presented, death would be preferred. As it is...a lot of diseases slip past their screening processes, anyway. How many people have contracted diseases and died because of the blood they received?

This is one of those things (like X-mass observance) where the exchanging of blood has become so common-place with modern science, that if a person were to suggest that it is all 'wrong', they would be 'pitied' as being a 'cult' and in need of 'psychological counseling' and 'intervention'; and if a child was 'needing' a transfusion, and the Godly parents were opposed to it, would the state system step in and 'force' the child to receive the transfusion anyway? There are some cults who are known for similar kinds of stands, and they face these kinds of affronts from the government.

Where is that 'line' between Medicine and "playing God"? I haven't yet totally sorted through all the ramifications of this one in my own mind.


No Transfusions... JW doctrine?

I have been thinking about your premise. What does it say, then, about blood transfusions? Does this mean the Jehovah's Witnesses are correct in their refusal to have transfusions?

I think I understand what you are saying in this article. I shared it with a friend who suggested this is how the Jehovah Witness believe.I do know the the J.W. believe in no blood transfusion could it be because of what you are saying in this article and perhaps you are inadvertently is some small way promoting J.W. beliefs? Otherwise this is a good article. Thanks for sharing and/or responding.

Just because some cult also believes some Biblical Truth doesn't make that Truth false. Most cults making claims to following the Bible are typically over 90% true. Most false prophets proclaim 99% truth. So, just because we are seeing some Biblical Truth we hadn't noticed before, that doesn't mean we are promoting any particular cult that also teaches that truth. The Mormons give away "KJV" Bibles. That doesn't make a person using the KJV a promoter of the Mormon cult. Catholics speak of the crucifixion. That doesn't mean that when we speak of Christ's death on the cross, that we are promoting catholicism. Right? Same with this, and JWs.


Condoms & Vasectomies?

A question was raised in an e-mail by a friend. It was all too long to paste in here, so let me summarize... The question was raised about the effect of using a condom during sex. Would that reduce the level of "adultery"? But then, the observation that Jesus said that anyone who even "looks" with lust has committed adultery in the heart. (Mt5:28) But then, continuing onwards with what we have already considered...

Would the use of a condom 'deprive' the wife of the husband's [nephesh]? And... I had personally already been thinking and wondering about vasectomies in this regard.

I don't have any medical knowledge about the semen. But it is specifically the "seed", the sperm, that contains the blood plasma. Thus, while we have observed on other occasions that any kind of "morning after" contraception is tantamount to "abortion", it is certainly seeming like these other contraceptive measures would deprive the wife of the husband's [nephesh], wouldn't it.

That certainly narrows down the contraceptive options, doesn't it. (There still are some options left) But then, God's design was primarily, "Be fruitful and multiply..." (Gen1:28, 9:1)



I would be curious to know your take on cremation. There seems to be a huge controversy over this in some circles as to whether it is proper or not to burn the body God gave us etc. I can find nothing specific in the Word in regard to this but I sure would appreciate your thoughtful addressing of this matter.

Some Christians believe that cremation is not Biblical because it is the basis for so many heathen burial practices, and Scripture says, "According to the doings of the land of Egypt, where you dwelt, you shall not do; and according to the doings of the land of Canaan, where I am bringing you, you shall not do; nor shall you walk in their ordinances." (Lev18:3) But I don't know that simply burning a body, if no religious significances are attached, qualifies under this.

And then there are the multiplied condemnations of Israel "...even sacrificed their sons whom they bore to Me, passing them through the fire, to devour them." (Eze23:37) That, again, is different. That was the offering of "live" screaming wiggling babies as burnt offerings to pagan deities.

Thus, I would have to say that I don't know of any Scripture that addresses this one way or the other. My personal view has been: what is the difference if the body cells decay in the ground, or they get burned into ash? They become "dust to dust" one way or the other, either way. While we are told to not "eat the blood" (Lev17:13, Deu12:16,23, Acts15:20,29) (And this would include uncooked meat -1Sam14:32-35), I don't know of any Scriptural reason why the clotted blood within the dead body shouldn't be burned, vs being allowed to decay. Just because I don't know of any, doesn't mean such doesn't exist. However, if they do exist, the Lord hasn't pointed them out to my understanding yet from the Scriptures.

However, if a body is cremated, those ashes should likely be "covered with dust"?? (Lev17:13, Is26:21, Eze24:7,8)


Souls... not tripartite?

I am glad someone else can see this too. We ARE souls. And there is not three aspects of man, a concept which came from the Greek pagan influence to christianity after the apostles fell asleep. When we die, we cease to exist until judgement day. Are souls are not immortal. Immortality is the gift of salvation that Jesus gives to those who are saved. The unsaved soul will be destroyed and not live forever in hell nor anywhere else.

It's a shame that the church has been misled for so long by pagan influences.


  1. Man -is- tripartite. God first formed Adam's -body- "of the dust of the ground" (Gen2:7). Then God "breathed" -spirit- into the man. And the result was a "living -soul-". Paul's prayer was "..and may your whole spirit, soul and body be preserved blameless" (1Th5:23) This is God's Word, not "Greek pagan influence".

  2. When the rich man died he did not "cease to exist". Otherwise, how would he have had the conversation with Abraham? Look it up. (Lk16:19~)

  3. If you read that story you will notice the rich man is in "flames" (vs24) and "torments". (vs23) Very much 'conscious'! Existing! And notice that the "fire is not quenched" as "their worm does not die". (Is66:24) And notice that the Lake of Fire into which those not found in the Book of Life are cast (Rev20:13-15) is a "tormented day and night forever and ever" situation. (vs10)


Why Israel also killed all the animals

Ever wonder 'why' God often commanded Israel to also wipe out the 'animals' of the nations occupying Caanan, or of anyone of Israel who might go off into idolatry? (Deu13:13-16, 1Sam15:3) Much of paganism also included beastiality. Thus, the animals were all corrupt due to the [nephesh]. When Israel first took possession of the land, they were not only conquering, they were God's tool to "utterly destroy" the corruption. (Deu7:16, Ex22:20, 23:24)

Is this why they also often killed all the babies?


Identical Twins

An observation too from a couple of things you said, I was thinking about identical twins, how they so often seem to be of one heart and mind over so many things, almost sometimes like one person, how that would all come together with this, having shared the same blood supply at the same time, they would not only have the blood/life/soul of the parents but also of each other as well. As I said to you before, I have never heard this taught in this way before, but now having read the Scriptures for myself I can clearly see the truth of it.



Right now, my opinion (and I wonder why our theologians are not making a big deal out of this) is that once a human is cloned (and it will happen - it's only a matter of time), it will possess no soul. For the soul of man is given only by God - as you say, it is "God-breathed".

This reminds me of the Romanian "orphans" who were raised during the regime of their last dictator. They were children who were taken away from their families at birth and raised in cold, sterile environments, with no real contact with humanity. When they got older, they were trained in martial arts and methods of cruelty. They became part of an elite order of "bodyguards" and were greatly feared around the country. When the regime fell, it was believed that many of them were hiding in secret tunnels beneath the capital, and when these tunnels were found, they were sealed in hopes that the "orphans" would be trapped and die. It was felt by many that these murderers had no souls. A morbid comparison, but perhaps similar to clones - at least in personality. As humans, they did have souls. But I believe that a cloned being will not possess a soul, being an artificial creation. And there is no telling what horror we will wreak upon ourselves once such a being is released into society. Just a thought -

On the subject of "cloned" humans. It would seem that they might be "soul-less" and therefore vehicles for demon spirits.

Whatever the state of the soul of a clone might be, we -do- know that man, if unchecked by God, -will- get there. Just a few short years ago there was the big debate about the ethics/morality of it. Now, everybody in every nation can hardly wait to become the "first" to "clone a human". The 'race-is-on'. I keep reading about it on the on-line news sources, and Chuck Colson the other morning was including the fact of how they are experimenting with cloning...combining human and animal DNA. It's going to become Genesis 6 all over again, like the "days of Noah". If we understand that much of mythology has basis in 'fact' from ancient times, mythology has human/animal hybrids. We are 'in' those days, again, -NOW-!! And then came God's judgment.

Science fiction has been conditioning us for this. Just like space travel and beam weapons are developing, which used to be only the realm of sci-fi, not to mention Star Trek Enterprise-like "communicators" (cel-phones), wristwatch-sized TVs and computers from Dick Tracy, they have been suggesting laboratory-hatched humanoids, which are either programmable automatons, or become possessed by some human's soul. And in some cases, when such a being is possessed, it is occupied by the person's "dark side". Can you say, "demon possession"?

Some scary times ahead for this world!! "So the great dragon was... cast to the earth, and his angels were cast out with him... Woe to the inhabitants of the earth and the sea! For the devil has come down to you, having great wrath, because he knows that he has a short time." (Rev12:9,12)


Divorce and Remarriage? (in a nutshell)

Here are the Biblical rules:

  1. Paul teaches... "a wife is not to leave her husband" (1Co7:10)

  2. If she does, either
    • remain unmarried, or
    • be reconciled to the husband (vs11)

  3. If an unbelieving spouse leaves a Believer, the Believer is "not under bondage" (vs15) This 'bondage' also related to the "law" (Rom7:1-3), as though the unbeliever, who left, had died. Just as in death, the abandoned Believer could be remarried. (Rom7:2)

  4. If a wife leaves a husband, gets married to another husband, and leaves that husband: She cannot go back to the first husband. (Jer3:1, De24:1-4) The second husband "defiles" the wife in relationship to the first husband.

  5. Jesus teaches that to marry a divorced person is the same as adultery (Mt5:32, 19:9) And since Jesus is talking to Jews, the assumption would be that both husband and wife are of similar status "believer" wise.... in other words, when the marriage is not an unequal yoke, like #3.
Errant Wife Returns?

The second, in this series of five, "Implications of Blood on Adultery..." included mentions of:

    "They say, If a man divorces his wife, and she goes from him and becomes another man's, may he return to her again? Would not the land be greatly polluted?" (Jer3:1) ...which harks back to the Law as given...

    "When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some uncleanness in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house, if she has departed from his house, and goes and becomes another manís wife, if the latter husband hates her and writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house, or if the latter husband who took her as his wife dies, then her former husband who sent her away cannot take her back to be his wife after she has been defiled; for that is an abomination before Jehovah, and you shall not bring sin upon the land which Jehovah your God is giving to you as an inheritance." (De24:1-4)

A question was raised during the recent (2008) rerun, about a wife who had divorced a Believer and married another man. What happens when that man dies, and the wife comes to the first husband, asking forgiveness and to be received back?

There is what the above passages say. On the other hand, there is also the incident of Hosea with Gomer, where Hosea's wife runs off; and then God instructs him to go after her and redeem her back to himself. [link]

Such a reunion might have similar overtones as when Joseph's 10 brothers came down to Egypt during the famine, and he interrogates them and gives them WHAT FOR for a time, to 'test' them, to prove the 'current' nature of their hearts. Because, after all... we, also, sinned against God, and when we repented, He accepted us. Thus, God's -grace- makes allowances that Law doesn't, always. There is also the prodigal son, etc.etc.etc.

There is LAW that says: once she has broken that "first trust", she cannot come back. But isn't there also GRACE that, if the errant heart is now repentant, everything else being appropriate, the abandoned husband -could- receive her back?

In that same verse, through Jeremiah God says to Israel,

    "yet turn back to me, says Jehovah" (Jer3:1b)
Righting the Wrongs?

When a woman's husband dies, and if she remarries, isn't she still connected to the first husband, though he is dead? If she receives his nephesh and then receives the nephesh of her subsequent lawful husband, what of that?

Your study has raised a question about the situation of more than one nephesh (soul). Do you think that this is a permanent condition on earth or would this situation be"erased" by salvation. I think I see the points you are making yet it seems kind of hopeless too. There is so much this kind of thing in the world today. Where I work there are many homosexuals who come in the office. (I don't believe they can't help it, either!) But, could they ever be "right" if saved?

Thank you for making my salvation through Jesus Christ from the world even more real and precious to me. This is a hard subject you are teaching, I'm sure many women who are not true believers will be greatly offended by it. Please pray for those of us who have been saved from the evil that we once lived in to deal with our guilt and emotional scars. One question I have is how does God look at second or third marriages of believers who did not realize what they were doing until it was too late?? Are these real marriages in God's sight?

I have a question. Before becoming born again I lived a life that was according to this world, with sex, drugs, rock 'n roll. I would agree that problems in my marital relationship point to those times in the past. But where do I go from here? I can't "undo" the damage that was done. I have repented and know I am forgiven of those confessed sins, yet the fact remains that it happened and I have polluted my body in being sexually impure. The results of sin can't be wiped away. It's not like it never happened. I live with the consequences of my poor choices. Could you comment further on this? Surely I am not the only woman who is wondering.

[Editor: There were more e-mails like these. But these are enough for this item.]

If a person has been with several people, are they all marriages in God's eyes? Paul puts it this way, "..do you not know that he who is joined to a harlot is one body with her?" (1Cor6:16) The answer is, obviously, "Yes"... even when one sleeps around with "working girls".

So, a person has a totally messed-up life. What now?

First of all, when we "confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (1Jn1:9) And when God takes sin away, it is "as far as east is from west". (Ps103:12) They will not "be remembered against him" (Eze18:22)

Also know that God's mercy towards us is based on His knowledge of us and our frailty. "As a father pities his children, So the LORD pities those who fear Him. For He knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust." (Ps103:13-14) So, while He pronounces judgment against sin, when He forgives, He also understands the temptation we succombed to. Jesus "was in all points tempted as we are..." (Heb4:15)

However, just because we are forgiven and made -spiritually- new, that does not change what we may have done to/with these bodies. After all, Paul says, "..flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God". (1Cor15:50) If our sin resulted in a limb being cut off, eye gouged out, or scars from being burned...becoming a Christian isn't going to restore those body parts to pre-sin condition. It's like the little boy who was pounding nails into the board for every sin he committed...and then, as each sin was forgiven, the nails were pulled out...but the board still had the "holes".

A Biblical example here from David: "Now therefore, the sword shall never depart from your house, because you have despised Me, and have taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your wife.' "Thus says the LORD: `Behold, I will raise up adversity against you from your own house; and I will take your wives before your eyes and give them to your neighbor, and he shall lie with your wives in the sight of this sun. `For you did it secretly, but I will do this thing before all Israel, before the sun." (2Sam12:10-12) And this was fulfilled in the incident with Absalom's sister Tamar and brother Amnon, and Absalom killing Amnon, and then the whole thing where David was fleeing from Absalom, and the tent on the roof, etc., and Absalom got caught in the branch of the tree while he was fleeing and was killed. (2Sam 13-19) David confessed (Ps51) and was forgiven (2Sam12:13), but there were still -physical- 'consequences'.

Since male/female union transfers the man's [nephesh], and it is part of the blood, whatever resulted in that regard doesn't change. And if you have resultant diseases, the Lord -may- not necessarily heal you, either.

There is nothing we can "do" to "fix" it, and make it better. The soul is God's gift from creation. But, FROM NOW ON our ways will change. "Go and sin NO MORE". (Jn5:14, 8:11) When David sinned with Bathsheba, she remained his wife. Paul tells the Believer to remain with whomever they are married to 'now'. Even if that spouse is unsaved, do "not divorce" them. (1Cor7:10-13) Whatever your state was when you were saved, or got right with God... "remain in the same calling in which he was called" (1Cor7:20,24) And God has a way of blessing the from-now-on relationships. Remember that Solomon subsequently came through Bathsheba. And notice it says, "Now the LORD loved him." (2Sam12:24)

Please read: "Stay Put"

Once you are 'right' with God, don't beat yourself up over the past. It is now forgiven...move on. Yes, you may shed tears periodically in regret over the past; but that's one reason why God is going to "wipe the tears from their eyes". (Is25:8) But like Paul says, "but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Therefore let us, as many as are mature, have this mind.." (~Phil3:13-15)

But remember that when we are with the Lord, all these things will no longer matter... "..this I say, brethren, the time is short, so that from now on even those who have wives should be as though they had none, and those who weep as though they did not weep...for the FORM OF THIS WORLD is passing away." (1Cor7:29-31) There is going to be a "new heaven and earth" (Rev21:1) and we will be receiving new spiritual bodies which are "incorruptible" and "immortal" (1Cor15:53), and this wonder is "an inheritance incorruptible and undefiled and that does not fade away, reserved in heaven for you," (1Pt1:4)


Closing Thoughts

It seems like the biggest reaction to this series, and probably not surprisingly so, is more questions. Questions arising from, "I have lived a life of .... now, does this mean that all these [nephesh] are involved in 'my' situation? If the woman finally settles down to 'one' man, will all those other nephesh 'fade away' from existence as the [nephesh] from the current person 'builds up'?" And essentially the question, "How does one become 'purified' from all these different people" that one has been with?

Isn't it utterly sad and heartbreaking how such a 'beautiful' thing God created for a man and his wife, a picture of Christ's relationship with His Church, due to sin has been reduced down to... "how can we 'fix' things we messed up?" !!

First of all, does the [nephesh] "build up" and/or "die away"? Many of you sent questions, hoping I would have the answers for you. Please keep in mind that this is a new topic to my understanding, too. I don't have all the answers yet. And I expect that many questions won't have answers yet in this life, but must wait for clarification until that day when we "see Him as He is" at which time "it" will be "revealed". (1Jn3:2) We only now "know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known, when we see Him "face to face". (1Cor13:12) Remember, right now we "walk by faith, not by sight". (2Cor5:7)

Remember the Scriptures. [Editor: I may not give all the references again here. We've already seen them in the series. Go back and review if you need to. We're just going to 'talk' here for a few moments.] The two become "one -FLESH-". Remember the little boy's 'board', and let's change the example. A man and woman are together and are "one". ("one" nail in the board) Now, the woman is with another man and becomes "one" again. (another nail) And again... How many nails are in the board? Each nail is "one" nail. But what's the situation with the board? These nails don't get pulled out. It is not like being possessed by a 'spirit', where demons can be cast out. The two became one "flesh". The [nephesh] is "soul", not spirit. "That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit". (Jn3:6) Do you see how the situation doesn't get "fixed" just because a person got saved after this kind of life? Salvation is a "spiritual" birth. (Jn3:8) But whatever a person did "in the flesh" is part of the "flesh and blood" which "cannot inherit the kingdom of God". (1Cor15:50)

The point in time where it all becomes "fixed" is at the Resurrection and Rapture, where the Believer receives the new "spiritual body"; that which is "in glory" and "incorruption"; no longer of earth, but of the "heavenly". (1Cor15:42-49)

So, until that day, 'what' do we do to put our lives on a straight course? At other times in the past we have seen how Scripture provides us with several possible scenarios. Let's review them briefly.

The #1 thing which Paul gives us is to "stay put". "Let each one remain in the same calling in which he was called". (1Cor7:17,20,24) Has your past involved sleeping around, but now you are with the "last" in that series? Stay with whomever it is you find yourself now. Just stop the 'musical chairs' and 'sit down'. And "do not deprive one another". (1Cor7:5) Live a full marriage. You are now married to this present person... live a married life with them, as 'husband and wife'. Put the past in the past. Don't cling to past relationships. Don't worry about being "nurturing and loving" to all these people you have been with. Make a "complete break" from them and cleave to your present spouse. (All the "caring" for all these others is part of the reason you got into trouble in the first place. Let them go...out of your life.) In spite of the past, God has a way of causing "all things [to] work together for good to those who love God" (Rom8:28) Just trust Him!

Now, what if the "last" person you were with has subsequently been with another? Say "good bye" to them. It is the same as the O.T. command about the wife leaving one husband, going to a second, NOT coming back to the first. You are now free and alone.

What about if there are children from various past liaisons? Now 'that' becomes a tough one! See why it becomes such a mess? It is not the child's fault that you messed up! But they are reaping the rewards of your sin. In this, I don't know if I have a clear word from God's Word in the matter. While society typically suggests that parents have "visitation -rights-", and it is also always assumed that children need their "-birth- parents" to grow up healthy, one has to wonder what "so many different" parents does to the child's perspective of a proper marriage. They learn by observing. When a parent comes around to 'collect' the child for their 'time', there is contact with the forsaken spouse. Children need the stability of "one" home. Remember that God is "one", and the husband and wife become "one". The family, in my view, needs to be "one" also. But how to achieve that? People must seek the Lord earnestly... and it might be that one parent might need to make a huge personal sacrifice of their own "rights" for the child's good..?? After all, when the parent exceeded God's design by dallying around, they lost whatever "rights" they think 'they' have. They are now stuck with 'consequences'. In the illustration where the boy pulled nails out of the board when the sins were forgiven, the 'holes' remained. Yes, you will have a big "hole" where your child is missing from your life.

Oh, please, don't everybody flood me with hate mail on this one. Please re-read... I already said you must "seek the Lord earnestly". Where the children are concerned, I don't know if Scripture gives hard-n-fast rules. But they do need "stability". And they are also surprisingly 'resilient', once a new path has become forged and is stable, if the parents don't tell them "how sad" they 'will' be. Life continually throws curves at children, when a parent dies... or both parents die, or become ill, etc. Children are a "gift from the Lord" (Ps127:3-5) and they belong to Him. Samuel did quite well once he was given 'back' to the Lord and lived at the tabernacle, away from his parents. Children, while being a by-product of the relationship and are a "one flesh" which results from the marriage union, it is the husband and wife that are "one" with each other. The children eventually "leave father and mother" to become "one" with -their- 'own' spouse. (Gen2:24) But the husband and wife remain together until death. (Rom7:1-3) No, the parent-child relationship is not the "strongest bond". No, grandparents do not have "rights". While God designed the "family", He did not ordain the "faaaaam'ly", and what are today called "traditional family -values-". The strongest, most important human bond is of a husband and his wife. Today's "family values" tells new couples that they are 'still' answerable to "the family"... and the family '(M)atriarch'.

God's design is for children to be raised by their father -and- mother. (Pr1:8) But the primary burden for the raising of the children in God's Law is given to the father. The 'men' would have been gathered as the Law was given, "you shall teach them diligently to your children" (Deu6:7) Since the father gave his [nephesh] for the child to be born, in continuing God's order Paul says, "..fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord." (Eph6:4)

And this, then, brings us to another Scriptural scenario. What to do? Many of the men of Israel's captivity who returned to the land married and had children by the heathen women of the land. It's found in Ezra ch9-10. This was a slightly different situation, because it involved the "priests and levites" (9:1) and they had stricter rules about marriage to keep their blood-line pure. They were to only marry virgins of Israel, or widows of priests. (Lev21:13-14, Eze44:22) In this case, they "put away their wives" (Eze10:19), and in many cases, I would have to assume, the children, also. (vs44)

So, just as Paul tells the Believer that if an unbelieving spouse leaves "let him depart" (1Cor7:15), it seems like there could be some (more rare) situations where a Believer might initiate the end of a relationship in order to sanctify/purify himself.

But, primarily, STAY PUT. Once you have sorted out 'who' your present 'spouse' is, like the man-made marriage vows say, "forsake all others". Say "good-bye" to them, and don't go see them again. And in view of the past, don't remain -just- "friends". You need to make "clean breaks" from your past. Devote yourself -TOTALLY- to your 'present' spouse.

Don't worry about "how many" [nephesh] somebody may have. Or, will the old [nephesh] "become less"? Whatever the case is, the [nephesh] is a God-given thing. Man cannot make 'adjustments'. God gives life. God "breathed" into Adam and made him into a living soul/nephesh. So, once you have confessed and "forsaken" (Pr28:13) your sin, then, leave the rest in God's capable hands. Whatever you need to do regarding relationships (and children), make those decisions in faith before God. (Rom14:5,22-23) Nobody else can tell you what to do. And don't allow some KJV-only-toting pharisee from the church of Ephesus to badger you into a guilt-trip of what -they- 'think' you should do.

But once you have cleaned up the mess according to God's leading, and are now headed down your new path, don't continue to second-guess what God led you to do. Satan just absolutely luuuvs to throw your sin back in your face. He is, after all, the "accuser of the brethren". (Rev12:10) And yes, some of those from Ephesus (satan's servants) will reject you and cast you out from their fellowships, too. Don't worry about that... many of them are not saved, anyway. But if you have confessed, are cleansed, and have made the necessary inter-personal adjustments, rest in the assurance that "There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit". While you may still see the "nails" in that board, and occasionally shed tears of regret, "..the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death" (Rom8:1-2) This is a transformation which -God- works in us.

Forget the "things which are behind" and stretch forward "to those things which are ahead" and "press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus". And leave the results in God's hands. Whatever you need to know in these matters, "God will reveal even this to you". (Phil13:13-15)


The "Blood" Series:

  1. Life is in the Blood
  2. Implications of Blood on Adultery, Sodomy, Cloning, etc
  3. Give Your Life TO Jesus?
  4. Mystic Sweet Communion?
  5. Q/A -Various Related Questions & How to Fix past wrongs? - (This file)
Related Topic: - Matters of Life (Roe v Wade)


Return to: Q/A